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Момичетата съзряват по-бързо от момчетата, защото обикновено на мъжете им порастват гърдите чак около 40-те
Девушки взрослеют быстрее мальчиков, у мальчиков грудь начинает появляться только годам к сорока.
Girls mature faster than guys because men don't usually develop вrеаsтs until their mid 40's.
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Men-Women jokes
Според статистиката, женените мъже живеят по-дълго от ергените.
Женените мъже живеят по-дълго от неженените.
Verheiratete Männer leben länger als unverheiratete, aber sie sind viel eher bereit zu sterben.
They say that married men live the longest. It
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die.
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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
| Men jokes
| Single People Joke
Генко кара колата. Жена му все мърмори:
A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat.
The women just won’t leave him alone.
His mother-in-law says, "You’re driving too fast!"
His wife says, "Stay more to the left."
After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"
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Jokes about Women
| Car and driving jokes
| Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
| Men jokes
| Mother in law jokes
Las dos personas del matrimonio
Бракът е низ от комрпромиси, при които единият е прав, а другия е съпругът...
Casnicia este o relatie oficiala a doua persoane, din care una are intotdeauna dreptate, iar cealalta este sotul!
A házasság olyan kapcsolat, melyben az egyik félnek mindig igaza van, a másik pedig a férj...
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
Женската интуиция направо ме поразява.
Поражаюсь женской интуиции.
My wife is incredibly smart. When I called her from my buddy’s phone she answered, “Hey love!” She already knew it was me.
My girlfriend is sooo smart!
I called her from my friend's phone and she said
"What's up honey?"
She already knew i am on the other side
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Jokes about Women
Факултетски човек
Με τέτοια παιδεία...
- Добър ден, търся си работа.
Un giovane ingegnere al suo primo giorno di lavoro: Il titolare: "Spazza l
Der junge Akademiker hat seinen ersten Arbeitstag im Büro. Der Chef spricht ihn an: "Nehmen Sie den Besen und kehren Sie bitte das Zimmer." Der Akademiker ist empört: "Aber ich komme doch von der Universität!" "Oh, Entschuldigung, ich zeige Ihnen gleich, wie das geht."
Un ingegnere si presenta sul posto di lavoro. E
Шеф каже новому співробітнику: - Для початку підметіть в офісі підлогу! - Сер! Я закінчив Кембридж! - Обурюється той. - Ось воно що! Тоді дайте мені віник, та я покажу, як це робиться!
A frissen felvett alkalmazott először megy dolgozni a munkahelyére. A főnöke meleg kézfogással üdvözli, majd így szól hozzá: - Nos, az első feladata az lesz, hogy megfogja azt a seprűt és...
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said,
"Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."
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Work Jokes, Office Jokes
| Men jokes
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Teacher: What does your father do?
Little Johnny: Whatever mom says.
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School Jokes
| Little Johnny
Попитали радио Ереван:
Как подоить овец?
How do you milk sheep? …. …. …. With iPhone accessories.
How do you milk sheep?
Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1000 for it.
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Jokes
Доктора: - Жив сте по някакво чудо божие!
Il medico al convalescente: "Lei deve la sua guarigione alla robustezza della sua costituzione..." "Davvero? Allora a lei non devo niente!"
Christian Doctor: "Your recovery was a miracle!"
Christian Patient: "Thank God! Now I don't have to pay you."
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Money jokes
| God
| Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke
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| Christian Jokes
Έχασα την γυναίκα μου!
Στο σούπερ μάρκετ
Мъж се приближава към хубаво момиче в супермаркет.
Je faisais mes courses avec ma femme et je ne la trouvais plus quand j
Un uomo al supermercato non riesce a trovare la moglie e, rivolgendosi alla commessa dice:
In a supermarket Ivan lost sight of his wife. He comes up to a nice young lady and asks, "Will you talk with me for a couple of minutes, please?" "Why should I?" "It
Ein Mann spricht eine Frau im Supermarkt an: "Wissen Sie, dass ich meine Frau hier im Supermarkt verloren habe? Und jetzt frage ich mich, ob Sie vielleicht ein paar Minuten Zeit für mich hätten." Meint sie: "Und wozu soll das gut sein?" Antwortet er: "Na, immer, wenn ich mich mit einer schönen...
En man går fram till en storbystad blond snygging på ett varuhus. - Ursäkta, jag har tappat bort min fru. Har du lust att prata lite med mig? Kvinnan tittar förvånat på mannen och undrar: -...
Un gars aborde une jolie jeune femme dans un supermarché. Surprise, elle lui demande : - Que me voulez-vous ? - Oh, juste vous parler quelques instants. - Vous voulez me draguer, ou quoi ? - Non,...
A guy walks up to a beautiful woman in a shopping mall. "Excuse me" he says "But I
Adam, tıklım tıklım dolu bir hipermarketteymiş. Alışveriş eden çok güzel bir kadının yanına sokulmuş: - Affedersiniz hanımefendi, karımı kaybettim bulamıyorum, benimle biraz konuşur musunuz? Güzel...
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?
"Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."
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Jokes about Women
| Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
| Men jokes
| Relationship Jokes
| Beauty Jokes
Проблемът с политическите шеги е, че често биват избирани ...
The problem with political jokes is that they get elected.
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News & Politics
Бигамия означава да имаш една жена повече, отколкото ти трябва. Моногамията е същото.
- Што е бигамија? - Една жена повеќе. - А, моногамија? - Исто, една жена повеќе.
Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy? A: The Same!
La bigamie consiste à avoir une femme de trop; la monogamie aussi.
Bigamy is having one wife too many, but so is monogamy.
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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
| Sex Jokes
Ако на земята тежиш 100кг, то на Марс ще си едва 38 кг.
Если на Земле ты весишь 100 кг,
Si vous pesez 100 kg sur terre,
Se pesi 100kg sulla Terra, allora pesi 38kg su Marte.
Wenn du 100 kg auf der Erde wiegst, hast du auf dem Mars nur 37 kg auf der Waage.
Dünya
If you weigh 100 kilos on Earth, you only weigh 38 kilos on Mars.
YOU are not FАТ.
You are on wrong planet
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Mars
Τι είναι πιο σιχαμερό από το να δαγκώσεις ένα μήλο και να δεις ένα σκουλίκι μέσα
Много е гадно да намериш червей в ябълката,
Единственото по-лошо от това да видиш червей в ябълката, която ядеш, е да видиш половин червей
- Какво може да е по-гадно от това да отхапеш от ябълката и да видиш червей?
¿Qué es lo peor que te puedes encontrar en una manzana cuando la estas comiendo?
- Что может быть отвратительнее, чем откусить яблоко и обнаружить там червяка?
Was ist schlimmer als ein Wurm in einem angebissenen Apfel?
¿Qué es peor que encontrar un gusano tras morder una manzana? Encontrar solo medio gusano.
Qu
Vet du hva som er verre enn å finne en mark i et eple du akkurat har tatt en bit av? Å finne en halv mark.
- Finns det något värre än att hitta en mask i ett äpple som man precis har tagit en tugga av? - Ja, att hitta en halv mask...
— Чи може бути щось гірше, ніж знайти в яблуці черв
- Co jest gorsze od znalezienia robaka w właśnie ugryzionym jabłku? - Znalezienie połowy robaka...
- Што е полошо од тоа да најдеш црв во јаболко? - Да најдеш пола црв во јаболко!
What's worse than seeing a worm in your apple?
Seeing half a worm!
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Gross jokes, Disgusting jokes
| Food Jokes
| Dark Humor
| Animal Jokes
МОМЧЕ Е, МОМЧЕ Е, ОЩЕ НЕ МОГА ДА ПОВЯРВАМ
Ich schrie: "Es ist ein Junge. Ich kann es noch gar nicht fassen. Es ist ein Junge." Ich war so gerührt, ich stand sprichwörtlich in Tränen.
"It
11 years ago today my pal James came running out shouting lts a boy!" With tears streaming down his face. We never went back to Thailand.
"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I can't believe it, it really is a boy."
That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
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Jokes about Women
| Men jokes
| Sex Jokes
| Gay jokes
Дъщеря ми каза, че съм бил цитирам: "прекалено драматичен". Смених паролата на WI-Fi-а. След три минути ще видим кои е "прекалено драматичен"
My son made the mistake of telling me I was being overdramatic so I just changed the WiFi password.
We'll see who's overdramatic in about 5 minutes.
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Parent Jokes
Two small boys met during their first day at school. "My name is Billy. What
Kaksi alle kouluikäistä poikaa, sattuivat keskustelemaan eläintarhassa eräänä päivänä. - Minun nimeni on Pekka. Mikä sinun nimesi on? kysyi ensimmäinen poika. - Tommi, vastasi toinen. - Minun isi...
Deux enfants à l’école : - Moi mon père, il est comptable, et toi ? - Le mien est avocat. - Il est honnête ? - Non, seulement avocat.
While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two 5-year-old boys were getting acquainted.
"My name is Joshua. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Adam," replied the second." My daddy is a doctor. What does YOUR daddy do for a living?" asked Joshua.
Adam proudly replied, "My daddy is a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Joshua.
"No, just the regular kind," replied Adam.
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Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke
| Judge Jokes, Court Jokes, Judiciary
| Lawyer Jokes
Спират един шофьор и го глобяват за превишена скорост.
Одого мужика застукали за пpевышение скоpости. Полицейский оштpафовал его на кpугленькую сумму и выписал мужику квитанцию.
- Co mam zrobić z tym kwitkiem? - pyta kierowca, zaraz po zapłaceniu mandatu. - Proszę to zachować - odpowiada policjant. Jak Pan zbierze 10, to dostanie Pan rower.
"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.
"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."
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Work Jokes, Office Jokes
| One Liner Jokes, Short jokes
| Jokes about Police Officers
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