Newest jokes

Photographer:
“And will you want those pictures in color or black-and-white?”
Zebra:
“Jеrк!”

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Anti-Humor Jokes

“I’m touched,” said the dough and looked at me.

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Anti-Humor Jokes

Where do cows like to go?
In a mooooseum.

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Anti-Humor Jokes

What is black, red, and golden and flies through the air?
A lady bug with a golden tooth.

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Anti-Humor Jokes

At a farmer’s market stall:
Customer: Excuse me, is this tomato genetically modified?
Seller: Why do you want to know?
Tomato: Yeah, why do you want to know?

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Anti-Humor Jokes

Do unzipped files get embarrassed?

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Anti-Humor Jokes

Two milk cartons are sitting on a roof. Suddenly one milk carton throws the other down and says, “That’s what you get.”

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Anti-Humor Jokes

Two tomatoes are walking across a street. One of them gets run over by a truck.
The first tomato looks at the gruesome scene and says:
“Well, life’s not a petting zoo.”

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Anti-Humor Jokes

How do you tell you’ve had two dinosaurs in the fridge?
There are footprints in the butter.

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Anti-Humor Jokes

A man sees a shooting star.
“Oh, how nice! I can make a wish! I want a woman who knows what she wants!”
The shooting star pauses briefly, then turns around.

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Anti-Humor Jokes

Ok, I will stop making fun about your age. Making fun of old people is not funny.
Happy Birthday!

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You go early to bed. You sleep for 8 hours. You wake up early. You're considered disciplined.
You go later to bed. You sleep for 8 hours and wake up late – and you're considered lazy. Why?

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Bones decay very slowly. I'm thinking about all those dinosaurs and that my my baby teeth are still out there.

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Isn’t it funny – when you eat a sausage, you digest it and the body makes it again into a sausage.

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Accepting all those cookies on websites is extra hard when you’re diabetic.

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Job Interviewer, “Why are you wearing jogging pants?”
Man, “This is customary dress code where I come from.”
“Where do you come from?”
“From home.”

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What happens when a snowman gets angry?
He’ll be having a meltdown until he’s down to earth again.

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My teacher said I should walk a mile in his shoes so
I’d know how hard it is to be a teacher. Now I‘m a mile away and I still
Don’t have any idea what he’s talking about.

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School Jokes | Bad Jokes