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Did you fall from heaven, because I'm gonna suск the juice out your мingе.
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Are you a dog (Why?) Cause I'll feed you my boner
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Hey gurl, are you an alien? Cause dat аss is out of this world!
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A novelty store owner called a recent customer. "Mr. Jones? This is Mr. Peters, the owner of Peter's Novelties. Remember that boomerang you bought the other day? You paid for your purchase with a check, and unfortunately the check came back."
"You're lucky," replied the customer. "My boomerang didn't."
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An inexperienced real estate salesman asked his boss if he could refund the deposit to an angry customer who had discovered that the lot he had bought was under water.
“What kind of salesman are you?” the boss scolded. “Get out there and sell him a boat.”
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The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes. He replied "It's easy" and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top. He told his boss, I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato сhiрs and dip to draw in the customers. He laid out his сhiрs and dip. His boss said,
"That's a very innovative approach" and took one of the сhiрs, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth. "Yuck, this tastes terrible!" his boss yelled. The salesman replied "IT IS! Want to buy a toothbrush?"
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Used car salesperson to customer: How would you like to buy a car with zero down and zero per month?
Customer: (slight pause) For how many months?
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I got sacked from my job at the Clock Factory.
I just stood around making faces all day.
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Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes.
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If you were a candle, i would вlоw you
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Търговски пътник прави реклама на прахосмукачка: Седи си една жена у дома е на вратата се чука. Βιάστηκε... Пътуващ продавач на прахосмукачки позвънил на вратата на първата къща в новата си територия. Отворила му жена, но преди да успее да каже нещо, той се втурнал вътре и изсипал купчина конска тор на килима. A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the First house of the street. A tall lady answered the door. Geht ein Staubsaugervertreter auf den Bauernhof. Er schüttet einen Sack Staub aus und sagt: "Alles was mein Staubsauger nicht aufsaugt, esse ich. Daraufhin die Bäuerin: "Ich hole Ihnen einen Löffel, wir haben nämlich gerade keinen Strom." En ung dammsugarförsäljare var ute på säljresa i obygden. Han kom fram till ett gammalt torp, knackade på och blev insläppt av en gammal kvinna. Försäljaren hällde ut en påse med damm på golvet och... Uma dona de casa, num vilarejo, ao atender as palmas em sua porta... — Ô de casa, tô entrando! Ela se depara com um homem que vai entrando em sua casa e joga esterco de cavalo em seu tapete da... Do mieszkania Kowalskiej wtargnął akwizytor sprzedający odkurzacze. Rzucił na dywan śmieci, papierki, resztki jedzenia i mówi: - Zjem każdą rzecz, której nie wciągnie ten rewelacyjny odkurzacz. -... A little old lady answered her doorbell and saw a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. “Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would... K Novákům přijde prodavač vysavačů. Na zem vysype spoustu odpadků a říká: „Všechno, co ten vysavač nevysaje, sním.” „Tak to vám přeji dobrou chuť, od včerejška nám nejde proud.” Egy porszívóügynök betolakodik egy házba, és a háziasszony minden tiltakozása ellenére nagy rakás száraz lócitromot szór a szoba közepére. A nő felháborodik: - Mit képzel? - Asszonyom, ígérem, amit... Er komt een vertegenwoordiger in stofzuigers langs bij een boerderij. Hij belt aan, de boerin doet open. De vertegenwoordiger begint te praten: Llaman a la puerta,y abren Vendedor:la apeteria la nueva aspiradora 3000? Dueño de la casa:mmm,no se... Vendedor:intente aspirar esa ****,si no lo consigue me la como Dueño de la casa:pues espero q... Un promotore di una certa firma va in giro a cercar di vendere il nuovo prodotto... Un aspirapolvere miracoloso. Arriva davanti ad una casa, bussa alla porta e gli apre una vecchietta; il promotore... Dolazi prodavač usisavača kod babe na vrata, - "Evo imamo nove...." - "Nemam ja novaca za to sinko!" - "Ma molim Vas samo mala demonstracija." Uđe on i iz vreće istrese hrpu smeća babi na tepih. -... A little old lady answered a knock on the door to be greeted by a vacuum cleaner salesman. ‘fuck off im busy she said’ closing the door! ‘wait’ he says holding the door open whilst tipping a bucket...
To get a massive and immediate attention from a buyer, the Vacuum Cleaner salesman opens a bag of horse manure and spreads it all over the carpet.
Then he says to the possible buyer with confidence, "Mrs. if this vacuum cleaner can't clean all that manure I will eat the rest!"
The lady asks, "Do you want ketchup with that?"
Why the salesman ask?
"Because we just moved in and we don't have electricity yet!"
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a motorcycle?
A Yamahahaha!
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Definition of Sluт : Ноокеr with no business sense
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This feminist said to me “do you know how much I hate people implying that I’m a рrоsтiтuте?”
“How much?” I asked, taking out my wallet.
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I was taught, the real secret in business is honesty.
Absolute, irresistible, downright, honesty.
Once you learn to fake that, you?ll make a fortune.
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I don’t know how your day went, but my day suскеd harder than a truck stop hоокеr on payday
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I’m making a fortune out of promoting home security systems.
The pitch is easy. All I do is say “Hello”.
At 3 in the morning whilst sitting on the end of their bed.
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Have hope for the future, but maybe build a bomb shelter anyway.
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