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The first priest asks the second, “How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?”, the priest replies, “No clue… I close my eyes when I маsтurвате”

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The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop

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The priest wantes the little boy to touch his cross the boy said its hard then it shot out holy water and the priest said come again and taste the second сuммing of jesus lmao

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Man to woman: Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?
Woman: Sure.
Man: How about for ten dollars?
Woman: What do you think I am?
Man: We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price.

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Lenda: Hey can you help me with my homework…please?!
Genda: Okay and if I do you won’t make a fuss about it!
Lenda: I’ll try!
3 mins later.
Genda: THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER!
Lenda: Then what is 90 million.
Genda: WHA WHA!!!
Lenda mocking her: WHA OH YEAH YOU ARE A TERRIBLE TUTOR!!!
4 mins later.
Genda: What is the capitol of watchington?
Lenda: Uh…Idaho!
Genda being sarcatic: Yes…it is not the capitol of watchington…BECAUSE IT A STATE!!!
Lenda: Oh you mean Iowa!
Genda: UHHHHHHHHHHHH CUSS WORD!!!
Lenda: U can’t help that I’m the smart one…okay sweetie now you go be dumb and I go be smart! LATER SISTER! Oh wait can you help me with my homework?
Genda: NO! You the smart one so you do it!

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What does Mrs Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin kids.

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What is purple and wines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇

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‘Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.’

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The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin the bars…

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Why wouldn’t Mrs Grapes 🍇 leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.

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What happens to grapes when you step on them? they wine

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Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.

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What deos a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it
Nothing it just lets out a little wine

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Bowl of dark grapes
Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men
Friend 2: Black? Good one
Friend 1: 21 at a time

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Richard: Mom, someone called me gаy.
Richard’s mom: Why didn’t you slap him across him face.
Richard: No, I couldn’t.
Richard’s mom: Why.
Richard: Because he was cute.

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My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him 🥰🥰🥰

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My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait

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What’s a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest’s basement.

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