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What is an acid with a serious attitude problem?
A-mean-oh-acid

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Chemistry Jokes

Have you got a problem? Call in a chemist. They can always come up with a good solution.

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Chemistry Jokes

Because of its high reactivity, the slogan “If you can’t join ‘em, barium” was suggested.

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Chemistry Jokes

What did water say to sodium? I think you’re overreacting.

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Chemistry Jokes

I blame the Avengers. My female colleague spent quite a while yesterday eyeing up the Thorium.

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Chemistry Jokes

What is a cation? A very positive kitten.

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Chemistry Jokes

Landlady: There was a chemist living here before you, Mr. Denny, a very nice man.
Potential tenant: Really? Well I guess those black, green and red stains all over the walls must be from the chemicals in his experiments, right?
Landlady: Partly. The red ones are Mr. Denny.

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Chemistry Jokes

Is Schrödinger’s cat still alive? Well, to put it shortly, no. The longer answer would be yes.

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Chemistry Jokes

A noble gas walks nакеd into an office. She gets no reaction.

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Chemistry Jokes

Why did the chemist have a problem getting a boyfriend? She had no acetol.

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Chemistry Jokes

A word of warning about a lethal substance that is still shockingly widely available – the dihydrogen monoxide. It has caused the death of countless people, it is highly addictive and every single attempt to withdraw from using it results inevitably in very grim death, it forms a greater part of polluted rivers and oceans and there are no attempts made on part of the government to even regulate it, let alone ban it fully. Please write to your local MP on this subject and demand a solution!

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Chemistry Jokes

What mental disorder plagues the gas chromatograph? Separation anxiety. It got so bad, he just sits, stares and hums „breaking up is hard to do.“

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Chemistry Jokes

Why are so many chemists addicted to alcohol? Because they are sure alcohol is a solution.

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Chemistry Jokes

The bartender says, “Get out of here. We do not want your kind!”
A quicker-than-light neutrino walks into a bar.

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Chemistry Jokes

Chemists make really bad DJs. They take extra care not to drop the base.

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Chemistry Jokes

After I fell off the bike, my mom covered me with potassium permanganate.
I felt violated.

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Chemistry Jokes

Why did the Ministry of Defense order large amounts of acid? The army planned an operation to neutralize an enemy base.

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Chemistry Jokes

What is the difference between organic chemistry and zoology? Organic chemists study organic compounds. Zoologists study organic compounds that run around.

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Chemistry Jokes