Coffee jokes

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Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!

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“Hey barista, how much for a cup of coffee?” says a customer.
“Two dollars,” replies the barista, “and refills are free.” “Great. Then I’ll have a refill,” answers the customer.

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People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning
No, I say. I just bring him some coffee.

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I tried brewing my coffee with Red Bull instead of water.
I drank it and left my house to go to work. After 15 minutes I realized I forgot my car.

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Why can Starbucks get away with charging outrageous prices for coffee?
Because they have Italian titles for everything!

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How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.

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A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drinks coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”

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A man gave the waiter his order, "Black coffee, no cream"
The waiter came back and apologized, "I'm sorry, we're out of cream. Would you take your coffee without milk?"

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Coffee is the silent victim in our house. It gets mugged every day.

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